Crush on someone who isnt my boyfriend

Our experts insist there is no black-and-white answer here. It really depends on you, your partner and the kind of relationship you have. You probably know whether your partner finds it threatening or not to hear about your inner world and past relationships. If you really believe it will benefit your partner, even though it is uncomfortable for you, you may want to tell. News U. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes.

Being a mature adult to me is being able to see compatibility from an objective POV, and you're really screwing up if you are willing to play into a crush if the person you're with is truly a compatible match. Of course I never had any intention of acting on it. So I just let it run its course. They usually happen because the person reminds me of my SO in some way. I tell my SO about it, they roll their eyes and tease me about it, and a week later, I'm completely over it.

It only lasted six months though. The relationship was pretty bad, and I should have ended it much sooner, but that was one of my first warning signs that things were not going to last. Some of them were just me finding them attractive and flirting, some of them I was interested in and if they would've made a move I would've had some decisions to make, and the last one made me end my relationship.

Not because I saw some brilliant future with this new guy, but [because] I knew if I felt like that about someone else, I didn't feel the right way about the guy I was with. What helps in my situation is that my husband and I are both bisexual, and for the most part are interested in the same kinds of people. It works. It's natural to be attracted to other people despite being in a committed relationship.

But that's the thing. It's a thought, it passes. If it lingers and manifests into something else, I would think that's a problem. A 'crush' sounds like something that involves unrequited romantic feelings.

I haven't had any feelings like that since I've been with my current partner, so there's nothing to act on. A self-esteem boost? A peek into your lizard brain? In the emotional realm, black-and-white rules constrict us to black-and-white thinking.

They take the emotionality out of the reason we behave the way we do. Only you can find that answer within yourself — just give yourself a little time and space to sift it out.

By Rachel Siemens. By Gyan Yankovich. By Daniela Guerrero. By Amalie MacGowan.